|©Jessie Wilcox Smith |
Last night I went out with an old girlfriend to Starbucks to share a cup of Pumpkin Latte and to "catch up." She asked me if I had started my book. She is always encouraging me to write a book about my life. One time many years ago, my daughter had said she was going to write a book about my life because it is so interesting and that I am so amazing. *blush* My daughter loves me and is a little prejudice, of course. Well, I had mentioned it to my friend several years ago. And she took notice and sat up, eyes wide open, and said you need to write that book! She said, "Carolyn, your life IS very different....you have been through so many hurts, pain....and you have so much wisdom as you handled each struggle...in particular your divorce. So many women can glean from what you had been through and how to handle a blast of shock and unbelievable heartache." After we talked that day several years ago, I took the thought home....are there any books out there to advise a woman with the pain and shock of a marriage of many years to only become aware of all those years equaling deceit, dishonesty, infidelity, and adultery? I knew as I walked that road, it was God leading me, carrying me, and keeping me under self-control. I knew it was God bringing all those things out in the open for my eyes to finally see. I prayed for several months wanting only His direction as how to react. I knew my behavior and reaction was not your normal reaction which typically you would expect outrage....at times when it was so unbearable, I had felt like God lifted me up above the earth almost like I was looking down on this woman named Carolyn and her two little girls. I knew my mind was fragile and I could step right over the edge at any second into insanity... it was critical that I devoted my heart and mind at all times to God.
After time though, I thought writing a book was a ridiculous idea. Many women have been through divorce....I am no different. There are enough sad books of divorce on the store's bookshelves. But last night, Shelly brought it up again. "Where are you with your book?" When I told her that I threw the idea out the window, she started explaining to me why I needed to write it. She was so adamant. You see her husband two years ago also was discovered to have been cheating on her. She was devastated and came to me for counseling. (...of course I am not a counselor.) Their marriage is still intact today...she believes I had a lot to do with that. She believes that women need to hear my story and what God did for me during that time....she said it would be a blessing for women experiencing similar heartache. I am praying about such a task being something God would want me to do. It would be a huge project and I am not sure the road I would have to revisit to write the book effectively is one I would voluntarily want to go down.
Oh well, I am not sure. She suggested just typing a little here and there. Just bits and pieces just to get it down on paper. I guess I can do that....no harm in that. Something I will be praying about in the meantime.
Hugs, Carolyn ~ Cottage Sunshine